What I went through to order my iPhone 4S:

• First, I wasn’t eligible for the upgrade because the account was past due.
• I logged into AT&T to check.
• Called my wife to confirm she hadn’t made payment.
• Made payment.
• Went back to Apple to purchase iPhone and was eligible.
• Went through several screens and it changed our plan.
• Went to AT&T website to purchase instead but iPhone was gone.
• Logged out and back in.
• Got the iPhone purchase screen and followed the prompts.
• Discovered the plan changes were required by AT&T.
• Couldn’t find explanation of whether it would fuck up my family plan. It probably will.
• Went back to Apple because I trust them more.
• Went through the purchasing prompts.
• Debit card was declined.
• Tried again.
• Debit card was cancelled.
• Remembered that AT&T called me yesterday because they shipped me a new card because my existing one had been compromised.
• DROVE HOME.
• Picked up the new card and activated it while driving back to the office.
• Tried to purchase iPhone 4S AGAIN.

And I finally placed a successful order.