I was originally going to title this post “On following your passion,” but that wasn’t entirely correct. That’s because this post was inspired by a new blog I stumbled across, Study Hacks, written by Cal Newport. The post was “Can I Be Happy as an Investment Banker? The Difference Between Pursuing a Lifestyle and Following Your Passion.” I know. Long title, but it’s a good article.

The fact is that most of us do pursue a lifestyle rather than following our passions. I did it without even realizing it. Of course, my lifestyle choice was stability for my family. But along the way that also included a big house, two cars, big screen TVs, game systems, and all the usual trappings of a modern, 21st century American lifestyle. And I sought out jobs that afforded me those comforts.

I’ve always said that I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. But that might be a lie I’ve told myself for the last twenty years. That’s a hard truth, isn’t it? That you’ve been lying to yourself for two decades.

I love writing. And I love comedy. I enjoy design and, to a lesser extent, programming. I crave learning new things. It’s that craving that’s let me park my career in idle for the whole of my 30s because my jobs have required me to constantly learn new things. I’ve reached a point though where that’s just not enough anymore.

What does that mean? I don’t know. Addiction to a lifestyle is like any other addiction. The first step is to admit that you have a problem. That’s all this is. Me admitting that I have a problem. I don’t know what comes next.